Sarah Marshall

I discovered Sarah Marshall through her podcast, You’re Wrong About. Listening to early episodes of the show, which featured Sarah and her former co-host, Michael Hobbes, I learned in-depth about topics like the life of Princess Diana, the story that led up to the OJ Simpson trial, and the moral panic-ridden narratives about gangs in popular culture and political discourse. Each episode fulfilled the show’s titular promise, debunking false or incomplete narratives that had fossilized in our collective mental archives. What I most appreciated about the show, however, was the way Sarah in particular found ways to empathize with just about every character in every story without minimizing the harm caused by their actions. In a genre of storytelling riddled with insufferable male love interests, harmful decisions made by those in pain, and the predictable trash behavior of social elites, Sarah’s refusal to erase the complexity or nuance of any story became one of my favorite things about You’re Wrong About. 

As someone who often struggles with black-and-white thinking and perfectionism, I’ve historically had a hard time forgiving myself for times I’ve messed up and caused harm. My mind likes to categorize things as good or bad, right or wrong, and I tend to run from ambiguity even when it leads me to negative conclusions about myself (and sometimes others). I think it’s human to want to put things into neat moral boxes like that, but for me at least it’s had the side effect of making it hard to embrace my contradictions and paradoxes, often resulting in overly simplistic ideas about myself and about the world. What I think is special about the way Sarah talks about people and situations is her willingness to hold all the parts of something messy and not try to push them into a more digestible picture. By processing the rich, frustrating realities of these stories, I’ve gotten better at grappling with the contradictory and imperfect parts of myself, bolstered by Sarah’s unwavering belief that even the bad parts are deserving of compassion and curiosity. I’ve begun to realize that unconditional self-empathy doesn’t have to be at odds with accountability and growth. For that, I am sincerely grateful.