Growing up, you learned that it’s not okay to be yourself. Cultural messages of the so-called “ideal woman” permeated every facet of your life. You were told to cater to everyone and appear perfect even if you were hurting. This meant you had to be thin, conventionally attractive, and always calm and collected, as the “ideal woman” is an effortless endeavor. So, you wore makeup and certain clothes to look “pretty,” because you believed your appearance defined your social worth.
Read MoreI absolutely love the subject and am interested in all aspects, but my focus will be in clinical science. My goal is to get my PhD so that I can be a clinical psychologist. But that being said, any goal comes with its setbacks.
Read MoreIf I could speak to anyone else who’s going through something similar, I would tell them to be very sure before they cast judgement on existence itself. Be sure that your skepticism comes from a desire for truth, and not the desire for an answer to your personal pain.
Read MoreI’m sorry for losing sleep. I’m sorry for never being able to sleep. I am sorry for blaming you for normal emotions. I’m sorry for believing what everyone said about me. I’m sorry for not sticking up for my feelings. I’m sorry for continuously putting you in toxic circumstances. I’m sorry for forgetting or ignoring your thoughts. I’m sorry for thinking you are disgusting.
Read MoreHowever, despite my general positive attitude and ability to stay on top of my life, I am still constantly being pulled in different directions, which takes its toll on me, both mentally and physically. My life at school, like almost everyone else’s in college, is stressful. I also often find myself unable to sleep at night, constantly thinking about things I have no control over; this is always much more unnerving than small worries like an unfinished term paper or a bad grade on an exam.
Read More“Hey are you okay? Why are you so sad? Are you sick?” What was I supposed to tell everyone? I wish I could have said, “I can’t get out of bed and I do not know why. I have no motivation to do anything and I do not know why. I keep crying everyday and I do not know why.”
Read MoreCollege is a time of expectations. The only thing heavier than these expectations is the urge to not let everyone down. I want to be better. I see her sometimes when I close my eyes, the girl I might be if only I could get better, the better girl.
Read MoreThroughout my time abroad thus far, my greatest lifestyle change has been the extent to which I am alone. But let me clarify: alone doesn’t mean lonely. In fact, perhaps my favorite aspect of this experience has been learning how to successfully be alone.
Read MoreMy name is Jacalyn Kai Webster, and I had an eating disorder for 8 years. I've been a leader, a teacher, a performer, a musician, a writer, an artist, a world traveler, a mentor, a recipe developer, and a blogger—all while another part of me only knew life as an anorexic and later on, a bulimic.
Read MoreI have often thought of my depression as a murder that I have to solve. It is dramatic I must admit, but in the darker moments it is true it feels as though a life was lost – my own – the person I would have been, the things I would have done, the love I would have shown, had I not fallen into this hole.
Read MoreShort and sweet clichés that saturate our culture, like face your fears, tend to have some kernel of truth. With repetition, we learn to either reinforce our anxieties or learn to navigate the world with courage. Each step we take towards our intended selves, the selves that are able to triumph over our fears, leads us closer to gaining confidence over these fears.
Read MoreBefore this semester, I was so excited whenever I thought about going abroad. I was going to France where I would be immersed in the culture, speak the language, and enjoy every moment in a place I had dreamed about. However, as soon as I arrived I was immediately overwhelmed by the pressure to speak French as much as possible.
Read MoreIf you find it difficult to even start a conversation with yourself about loving yourself, imagine that you’re thinking about someone you really love. Maybe a best friend or partner for whom you want the absolute best in life. Would you want them to pursue a career outside of their true passions? Or pull all-nighters all the time?
Read MoreWith everything going so well in Ann Arbor, I started to grow worried as my time abroad drew closer. I was scared of relapsing into the anxiety and emptiness I felt the first half of 2018, and was unsure what I would do if those feelings returned while so far from home.
Read MoreSometimes we are sold the idea that we cannot feel joy on our own, that it must be artificially derived from bars, clubs, events, alcohol or a group setting. You can pick apart what elements of these experiences act as precursors to joy, whether that means expectation, friends, new people, ads, associations between certain emotions and settings, etc.
Read MoreFor me, I was familiar with certain sets of attraction and relationship patterns that were ultimately self-destructive. Allowing myself the freedom to be independent and to choose those who are best for me felt weird. Sometimes people default back to familiar destructive patterns because they feel more safe and comfortable with them, but that’s simply a trick of the mind.
Read MoreWhen I was 14, my sister told me a secret. “I pull out my hair,” she said, laying in the bed across from mine in our little room. “I don’t know why I do it, but I can’t stop.” She had developed trichotillomania, a Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior characterized by uncontrollable urges to pull hair from the body.
Read MoreIn the midst of our most difficult moments in life, we need to be supported with truthful evaluations of our situation and how to move forward. The notion that “everything’s going to be okay” isn’t necessarily true, unfortunately, and can be perceived as a flat-out lie when we need someone to feel our pain, and feel our hardships.
Read MoreWith casual video games like the ones I gravitate towards, you can live in a world where you don’t have to stress about such things – where there’s no standard to live up to except the ones you give yourself, and if you ever run into any obstacle, you can always start again.
Read MoreIronically, my Literature and Social Change class is where my anxiety began to set in. We were discussing representation, as we often do. Discussing the lack of representation for mental health reminded me that this one day of unwavering support and awareness for mental health is an anomaly.
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