Friendship in Adulthood

On the first day of fifth-grade, I knew absolutely no one in my class. While waiting for the bus at the bus-stop, I started talking to the girl standing in front of me. I sat next to her on the bus and we became friends. During recess, I played with my classmates and we became friends. While we no longer had recess, this was a pretty similar experience in middle school and highschool. Sitting next to people in classes, or working together on assignments were the beginnings of friendships. In college, from meeting people in dorms, student organizations or connecting over certain classes, there are so many opportunities for forming friendships. 

When thinking about graduating in a few months, I started thinking about how adults make friends. At work, even though you spend a lot of time together with people at your workplace, we always refer to them as coworkers or colleagues. And because of the professional setting, it definitely takes time for your coworkers to be friends if they ever do. After reading about this topic a little, I learned that a lot of people face the same hurdles and have the same question. Many adults are willing to make new friends but are having trouble finding ways to form those meaningful connections. 

The New York Times has a few recommendations. The article “How to Make, and Keep, Friends in Adulthood” discusses a few strategies that emphasizes the psychological concept of mere exposure effect. This concept suggests that simply getting exposed to some people frequently helps form connections. Thinking back to childhood, this concept is applicable as you regularly see people at the bus stop, in classes, during recess, clubs, etc. Similarly in adulthood, the article recommends joining an activity that happens regularly such as a book club or professional development group. NPR also recommends other activities such as running in the same park on a regular schedule, or going to a certain restaurant once a month. NPR also recommends interest groups related to any of your hobbies such as sports, pets, religion, or food. One of the most important recommendations was to focus on the connections you make in the moment rather than forcing yourself to make it into friendship in the future. 

Here are some helpful articles regarding making friends as adults:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/01/well/live/how-to-make-friends-adult.html

https://www.npr.org/2023/05/17/1176641928/how-to-make-friends-anywhere-you-move

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-4769076

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult